Category Archives: Stan Wars

Is Lady Gaga a Better Singer Than Britney Spears?

Stans for performers with powerhouse voices always whip out what they think is their trump card: in Lady Gaga’s not-so-modest phrasing — “the bitch can sing.” Stans for Beyonce, Christina Aguilera, and Lady Gaga are most frequently seen deploying this argument, which is no surprise: it’s easy to instantly appreciate a singer who can belt out an intimidating soul ballad with ease. The implication is clear: Britney Spears, in the final analysis, simply cannot sing very well.

As usual, the Little Monsters have it all wrong. They and their stan allies — and, alas, many music critics — erroneously conflate having a powerhouse voice with having a quality voice. This unfortunate mixing is meant to undercut singers who can’t belt out the soulful ballads: women like Kylie Minogue, Ke$ha, and, yes — Britney Spears.

I happen to prefer the latter three to the former three. It’s not that their voices aren’t as good — they’re simply different. While someone like Britney would surely struggle to match the spin that Lady Gaga can put on a rock ballad like “Speechless,” it’s well-nigh impossible to imagine Lady Gaga being able to match Britney’s performance on “Breathe On Me” — or Kylie Minogue’s on “Chocolate.” Rock ballads are well-suited to powerhouse voices like Gaga’s — but when a sensual, subtle performance is called for, the likes of Lady Gaga simply can’t match a voice like Britney’s.

Different songs call for different interpretations — and hence for different voices. Whether a person “can sing” depends on the kind of material they’re tackling — and all of the performers I listed work with people who help them cater to their strengths. Lady Gaga won’t be caught dead trying to take on a sensual, sexy song like “Chocolate” or “Breathe On Me,” while Britney will surely never attempt a rock ballad like “Speechless” or a soulful song like Christina’s “Bound to You.” It’s not that one is necessarily “better”: they’re simply different. With that in mind, we can view this truth in a very positive light: all of the women I listed are good singers, and no clear-headed stan has anything to be at another’s throat for.



Dear Delusional ONTD Flops…

A number of commenters on ONTD are attacking my marvelous post about Britney Spears’ impending legendary status: member “jesusbitches” attacks Truth About Gaga as a “random blog” whose posts have no place on ONTD; “xena_mademegay,” with her Gaga avatar, asks “Why the fuck is that bullshit blog being accepted?” Keep ta-ta-talkin’ that…

Darlings: allow to introduce you to the most basic of logical fallacies — the ad hominem attack. It’s a popular fallacy because it’s so easy to employ — and it allows the person using  it to feel like they’ve issued an argument when they actually have done nothing but skirt it. It instead is an attack on the source: “Mr. Wilson is a known liar. Why would we trust a liar?” — or, in this format: “This blog isn’t popular. It doesn’t have a domain name. It’s run by a stan. Hence, we shouldn’t deal with its arguments.” Sorry — this is not a logically admissible rebuttal to anything I’ve written.

Now, I am a stan. I post on Exhale, for God’s sake. But even a cursory examination of this blog should reveal that I’m not a delusional one: I give Gaga credit where it’s due (no one can deny her performance skills), and I’m willing to concede many of Britney’s shortcomings (watching her lip-sync “Everytime” on that umbrella is farcical, for instance). But, well — much easier to attack the source than to address my arguments, though — isn’t it, Little Critters? Stay pressed!

PS — User “bumlikeyou” notes that “the source is some cray cray Britney stan from exhale who also stans for jbieber which is like twice the cray cray” — Damn right! You say I’m crazy? I got your crazy! Bow down to Godney and Biebsus! (And God$ha.)

Britney Spears vs. Lady Gaga 2011?

MTV is trying to whip up a stan war!

Although Britney is most certainly my queen — and while I obviously would like to see Lady Gaga cut down to size — I think that this particular fan-made war is a bit misplaced.

Now, now, don’t get too excited: it’s not because I’m in favor of peace between stans. Quite the opposite: my reasoning is simply that Lady Gaga has no more business being Britney Spears’ challenger than Britney has being Madonna’s.

Britney Spears is about to enter her fourteenth calendar year of being known in the music industry. She is, as the article above notes, an established veteran — the definitive female pop icon of the last generation. Gaga is the current leader of a new crop of pop divas that include Katy Perry, Ke$ha, and Rihanna. Britney, like Madonna, continues to remain relevant because of her icon status — but she no longer has anything to prove. Think of Madonna, cranking out sold-out tours, chart-topping albums, and hit singles (“Hung Up,” “4 Minutes”) thirty years after her debut. That’s the road Britney is headed down. There’s no need for her — or her fans — to get boggwed down in mindless competition with neophytes.

I’m in favor of stan wars, though, for the unfortunate fact is that Gaga’s fans, as arrogant as their leader, seem not to recognize what Britney has accomplished. Before Gaga turned into a raging egomaniac, she wrote quality songs for Britney and had nothing but positive things to say about her. Britney, unarguably the most humble woman in the pop industry, has been nothing but kind to Lady Gaga. Gaga’s fans have no reason to lash out at Britney.

Hence, what we’re dealing with is not a war, but rather an education of insolent students who, because they somehow have convinced themselves that Lady Gaga is the only quality pop star ever to hit the world stage, refuse to recognize the icon status of Britney Spears.

Lady Gaga is not a pop icon. Even, assuming, for the sake of argument, that I am utterly wrong about her and that she is the most exciting pop star to come out of the industry in the last fifty years, she has only been around for two years. No one who has been around for only two years has achieved icon status! That’s not a verdict on whether she’s a quality performer — it’s a recognition of the fact that she is still a fresh face, not a legend! In ten years, if she’s still cranking out the hits, let’s talk. But icons, I think, are performers who have been proven themselves over the course of at least a decade.

Who will rule 2011, then? While I’m confident that, placed side-by-side, Britney can outdo Gaga, it’s as silly to act as if such numbers would prove anything as it would have been in 2000 to proclaim that Britney’s Oops!…I Did It Again success proved she was overtaking Madonna. Preposterous. They were in different lanes. And Britney is in a different lane than Gaga.