Tag Archives: leak

“Born This Way”: Track-by-Track Live-Blog Review

This is an initial review. I’m going to write about the tracks as I’m listening to them, in order, including the singles we’ve already heard.

Here I go…

1. “Marry the Night”: After hearing the MQ Farmville release of this song, I was more than a bit underwhelmed. It sounds better in HQ, of course, but it still leaves me cold. The basic problem with this song is that it’s basically hookless. What, in this song, is supposed to draw me in? It feels like there’s potential, here: the melody to the verses is pretty good, and would have served as a better melody for the chorus, leaving the existing chorus to serve as a post-chorus, similar to the ‘Oh…’ in ‘Judas.’

Perhaps worst of all, though, the ending drags on for a minute without going anywhere at all. It’s the musical equivalent of blue balls: what on earth did I listen to this song for? I kept waiting for some kind of payoff, and I never got it. A horrid choice for the opening track.

Initial impression: C-

2. “Born This Way”: Why in hell wasn’t this the opening track? It’s The Statement of the album, and is — don’t take this as a compliment for this plagiarized, trite mess — quite frankly, a more interesting song than “Marry the Night.” It even seems like a breath of fresh air after that unfortunate track. But I’ve beaten this song to death dozens of times in dozens of ways. I have nothing more to say.

Impression: Still an F for plagiarism

3. “Government Hooker”: This is the track that was on everyone’s lips — a lot of Little Monsters had their hopes pinned on this track to be the second coming of “Bad Romance.” (Actually, most people thought that “Judas” was the second coming of “Bad Romance,” but we’ll set that fact to one side for now.) The big question mark was how greatly the track would differ from the the Mugler remix.

The answer ended up being: Not at all. After an overlong intro, the track kicks into earnest with some of the dirtier beats we’ve heard so far, but — well, they’re the same ones we’ve already heard. The verse remains completely uninteresting, though; this entire song looks like it’s going to live or die by its hook, just like at Mugler.

At the time of writing, I’m 2:40 into the song and I’m on the verge of shoving knives into my ears. The verses are dissonant, ugly, and jarring.

What a horrid letdown. I had high hopes for this song. It went nowhere. Who let her release this atrocious mess? If it weren’t for the quality of the hook — which is quite real — this song would be among the worst she’d ever released. Total disappointment.

Initial impression: C-

4. “Judas”: I love this song. A lot. I’m in love with “Judas.” It would have fit nicely onto “Fame Monster” — and I still like it. I must have been the only person on Earth to do so, however, given that it completely flopped on the radio.

Oh, well. Everyone flops. Anyway: the song — despite a few clunky lyrics and a misguided breakdown — is quite good, and the final minute is breathtaking: “I cling to!” — That’s a great pop moment. I’ll still be listening to this song sometimes a year from now. It’s the highlight of the album, so far.

Impression: A-

5. “Americano”: I’m at 0:30 as I write this — it sounds messy so far. I never had high hopes for this song, so even a pleasant listen will be something of a nice surprise.

Okay, I’m now at 1:00. It’s not happening. I’m going to struggle to get through this track.

I’m at 2:10. I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I’m just gonna sit back and say nothing in the hopes of not losing my damn mind.

3:40 — Yes! Here’s a nice outro. That was a nice ending. And it’s ending! I’m so happy!

Fuck, that was painful.

Initial impression: D

6. “Hair”: My thoughts about this haven’t changed much since yesterday. But listening to the joyful chorus of this song is euphoric after the four minutes of trash that I just sat through.

I actually love the melody to the chorus in this track. The last ninety seconds are breathtaking. The way that much of the instrumental drops out of the second-to-last chorus is really inspired.

The lyrics remain banal, at best, but RedOne’s sparkling production and the brilliant melody to the chorus rescue the song from what could have been, in the hands of Fernando Garibay and DJ White Shadow — who have done nothing but disappoint, so far, up to Track 6 — something a lot worse. Why was RedOne granted only three tracks on this album? He’s proving more and more to be Gaga’s true ‘secret ingredient.’

Impression: B+ overall, A for the chorus

7. “Scheisse”: The last of the RedOne tracks. I’d actually never bothered to listen to the preview at the Mugler show, so this track came to me fresh. Because it’s RedOne, I walked into it with high hopes.

Gaga’s penchant for inserting random foreign phrases into her words has always been irritating. I suppose this track was meant to “get it out of her system.” I’m at 1:00 as I write this and so far I don’t like this at all, but we all know that Gaga songs are structured around the chorus,with the verses just needing to be tolerable enough to get you there (if they’re good, all the better, but they’re never the point).

I’m at 2:00 as I write this: What is this, some feminist anthem? At any rate, the chorus is good but not as memorable as RedOne’s other contributions. Two out of three ain’t bad, though — and it’s actually a better hit-to-miss ratio than his “Fame Monster” contributions. What messes up this song has nothing to do with RedOne, though: it’s, as usual, Gaga’s obnoxious lyrics. The verses are insufferable.

Initial impression: B-

8. “Bloody Mary”: Alright, back to the Fernando Garibay tracks. The track somewhat resembles “Alejandro” when it starts out. The verses go nowhere, for me, and the lyrics are — are you noticing a pattern, here? — a bit overwrought.

The chorus is very Madonna. I can see myself enjoying this more after a couple of listens, but this track, on the whole, screams ‘filler.’ I have little to say about it. It’s simply not very interesting. It’s pleasant, but it’s forgettable.

Initial impression: B-

9. “Bad Kids”: I anticipated hating this track. I figured that it would be some kind of anthem for Little Monsters about how freakish, outcast, and eccentric they supposedly are.

I’m at 1:30 as I write this: I was right! And, to top it off, it assures the Little Monster listening that they’re still special to Mommy Monster. Gag me.

Initial impression: D+

10. “Highway Unicorn (Road to Love)”: Um, is it just me, or is the chorus to this song almost note-for-note the same as “Poker Face”? Down to the syncopation, it’s the same damn song! What the fuck is this? If I wanted to hear a “Poker Face” remix, I’d go buy the fucking “Poker Face” Remix EP on iTunes.

Initial impression: F for plagiarism. (And this was done with Fernando Garibay, while “Poker Face” was with RedOne, so, yes, I’m calling plagiarism.)

11. “Heavy Metal Lover”: This, with “Electric Chapel,” was one of my two most-anticipated tracks. At this point I’m extremely disappointed in the album, so I’m hoping that the next two tracks can redeem it in some fashion for me.

I’m at 0:47. This production is nice. She’s, for the first time on the album, allowed her producers to use her voice as an instrument to blend into the overall final product. In that sense, this track is really a production showcase for Fernando Garibay, who comes off fairly well, here.

Unfortunately, the track is nearly hookless. A song with a title like this should capture the spirit of heavy metal: balls-out, dramatic, and theatrical, with some slashing guitars or perhaps some blast-beat drums to mix up an album that promised to be innovative but is failing to deliver.

Instead, it sounds — well, nothing like that. This boring track will probably rank as the album’s biggest letdown for me. This sounded nothing like I was hoping. It’s boring.

Initial impression: C-

12. “Electric Chapel”: For the love of God, I hope that this track can redeem this album. I loved the preview and the title is awesome. Here we go…

0:40 — Ooh, I love this beat. It sounds sparkling in HQ.

I’m at 1:00 as I type this. The production to the chorus is lovely. The melody is subtle and is the kind of thing — oh, that piano! — Ooh, this is good. I like this track. — Ooh, there’s some guitars! (Where were they in “Heavy Metal Lover”?) Look how giddy I am to have come across a good track!

This sounds like a song that The Saturdays would kill for. And I love The Saturdays. This is a hot track.

3:00 — A friend just pointed out to me that the melody to the verses was basically identical to the melody to the verses of Kylie Minogue’s “Cupid Boy” — which, alas, is true. And the song only came But it doesn’t diminish what is still a good song.

Initial impression: A-

13. “You and I”: Um, for some reason, my download didn’t have this. Sorry. I’ll have thoughts later.

14. “The Edge of Glory”: This was the perfect closing track to this album. Nothing else could have done the trick. My impression of the song remains the same: it’s got a nice, anthemic chorus, passable lyrics, a nice theme — and then the cheesy sax break nearly kills the momentum (it doesn’t help that you can ‘see the seams’ of where the saxophone was inserted). But it’s still a good enough song that it’s worth listening to more than a few times — and more than good enough to deserve a slot as the final track.

Impression: B+

Overall: Holy shit, what a disappointment. The only track that I liked that I hadn’t already heard was “Electric Chapel,” which was one of my most-anticipated tracks. That song met my expectations. The rest were either filler (‘Bloody Mary,’ ‘Heavy Metal Lover’), corny (‘Bad Kids’), plagiarized (‘Highway Unicorn’) or downright messy (the ghastly ‘Americano’).

The presence of four or five strong tracks makes this album impossible to give a terrible grade to, and even when certain songs are weak as a whole, the production is often quite good.

Best track: “Judas”

Worst track: “Americano”

Best chorus: “Hair”

Worst chorus: “Heavy Metal Lover”

Best production: “Hair,” “Electric Chapel”

Worst production: “Government Hooker”

Biggest surprise: “Hair” (most had high hopes for this; I did not)

Biggest letdown: “Government Hooker”

Best lyrics: “Electric Chapel”

Worst lyrics: “Bad Kids,” “Government Hooker” (tie)

Not as good as: Femme Fatale

Better than: Loud

As good as: Teenage Dream

Music: B

Lyrics: C-

Production: B+

Overall: B-

Was it the album of the decade?: No.


Born This Way Leaked! [Download]

Review coming soon…
Until further notice:

FULL ALBUM: http://hulkshare.com/dji4ow8orbfz



CD HQ full songs http://hulkshare.com/ca3d7xtk6t1n
alternate link http://www.filesonic.com/file/1022549584

“Government Hooker”
“Marry The Night”
“Bloody MAry”

CD HQ full songs http://hulkshare.com/1nl31zhqpttc
alternate link http://www.filesonic.com/file/1022549594

“Bad Kids”
“Highway Unicorn”
“Heavy Metal Lover”
“Electric Chapel”

Born This Way to Leak In the Next 24 Hours

Twitter is abuzz with the fact that the album has apparently been shipped to retailers.

You know what that means…

Leak party time!

The fact that it’s been successfully kept under wraps for so long is quite the coup. Femme Fatale leaked eighteen days before its U.S. release date. If Born This Way can make it to eleven, that’s unusually good. At any rate, leaks don’t affect sales: if someone wants to illegally download the album, they can do that on the date of release, too.

What three tracks do you guys most want to hear? I want to hear “Electric Chapel,” “Heavy Metal Lover,” and “Fashion of His Love.” And, for the sheer ludicrousness, “Black Jesus/Amen Fashion.” I have a feeling that I’m going to hate “Bad Kids,” “Americano,” and “Hair.” (And I have a feeling that I’m going to dislike all the tracks that the Monsters love — and vice-versa!)

I’ll have a track-by-track review up once the album leaks, of course.

Stay tuned…

Judas Drops…

See below for my initial thoughts on the leaked track (download here), but I have some new points to add:

* The instrumental isn’t as hard-hitting as I was hoping it would be. It’s got a more 80’s vibe than a hard-dance vibe, which is unfortunate, because this song deserves the ‘sledgehammer’ beats that she was promising us. Alas.

* The chorus is very similar, both melodically and sonically, to ‘Poker Face’ and ‘Bad Romance,’ but I actually think that this is its best incarnation. The ‘Woah-oh-oh-oh, I’m in love with Judas’ parts are in particular very good.

* The verses are underwhelming. The instrumental to the verses is menacing, but the lyrics and the speak-sing manner in which she goes about complementing it is simply lacking.

* The bridge is completely incoherent and self-indulgent — typical Gaga garbage. She also made up a new word (‘offensed’ — you mean offended? Did no one notice this?).

* Overall, I’m sure it will be a big hit, mostly because of the sweeping, melodic chorus, which is — just like its genealogy — Poker Face and Bad Romance — a winner. I wonder whether we’ll get Poker Face 4.0 on Gaga’s third full-length album.

Poker Face 3.0 Has Arrived!

Lady Gaga and RedOne are cribbing notes from Dr. Luke! We’ve got a hit song, people — let’s remix it and release it again! ‘Poker Face’ was remixed into ‘Bad Romance,’ and, judging by the snippets of the chorus leaked to us, ‘Judas’ is the latest incarnation of the original hit. This is exactly how I imagined this song sounding when I read the lyrics. Shameless.

It’s damn catchy. Of course it is: it’s ‘Poker Face.’ It will be a big hit, and while critics will point out that she, once again, has copied an old hit, nobody will give a damn.

By the way, what the fuck is that middle-eight chant?:

In the biblical sense, I am beyond repentance. ‘Fame hooker,’
‘prostitute wench,’ ‘vomits her mind.’ But in the cultural
sense, I just speak in the future tense. Judas
kiss me if offenced, Don’t wear ear
condom next time.

Um ‘offensed’ is not a word. And we can add ‘ear condom’ and ‘fame hooker’ to ‘government hooker’ in the ‘trying too hard’ department.

Apparently her label might release it to iTunes today. Let’s see if it can topple the S&M remix’s sales count in just three days in the same way that ‘Born This Way’ stormed the charts. My best guess? It probably will. Guess we’ll see…

“Government Hooker” (?) Remix Clip Drops

Skip to 1:30 for the relevant section:

Very good. The melody is outstanding, and if someone like RedOne is at the helm, it’ll be a smash. This is just a remix, and it’s mid-quality, since it debuted at some random-ass fashion show — but I can already tell that the song is Grade-A pop. (The title is worthy of nothing but eye-rolls, though. “Government Hooker”? Well, aren’t we edgy…)

The trouble is that, even as I’ll listen to quality pop songs like this, I’ll have this inescapable knowledge that that woman is singing the song. Can’t we hand this to Katy Perry instead?

“Born This Way” So Far: 2011’s Biggest Disaster-In-the-Making

Pigrez Hilton has revealed two more lines of Lady Gaga’s new song “Born This Way”: “Don’t be a drag/Just be a queen.”

If you find this empowering, go drown yourself by sticking your face in a dirty toilet bowl.

Here are the lyrics to the song, so far:

Don’t be a drag
Just be a queen

I’m beautiful in my way
‘Cause God makes no mistakes
I’m on the right track
Baby I was born this way

Don’t hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you’re set
I’m on the right track
Baby I was born this way

Unbelievable. To quote Lil’ Kim: “Better slow down, dummy/you ’bout to crash.” I couldn’t have dreamed of more ludicrous, condescending, self-indulgent ego-trip than the one she’s heading on. This song is shaping up to be a complete and utter disaster. The best melody in the world can’t save these atrocious lyrics. And the more we learn of them, the worse the song looks: we’re only in for more rounds of horrendous lyrics!

Her straight fans aren’t going to accept this, and non-Monster gay ones are going to find this song to be highly condescending. We’re in for the Great Lady Gaga Backlash of 2011, folks! Hold onto your seats…